


The Kettle

by bluekujira



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Arthur being smug - Freeform, Language, Lovino being angry, M/M, Pretentiousness, Writing Prompt, bickering and arguing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 17:19:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3945211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluekujira/pseuds/bluekujira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short USUK ficlet based off a prompt I received: getting into an extremely pretentious argument and the resulting embarrassment</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kettle

“I’m telling you that is  _not_  how you heat water you imbecile,” Arthur grumbled.

“Imbecile? What kind of insult of that? And I can heat it however I want- I mean technically anything that gets the water heated is good with me,” Alfred shrugged in return.

“It’s not the same Alfred… It’s just…. you’re…”

Alfred raised his eyebrow. “I’m what?”

“Never mind… It’s too early for this.” The digits on the stove read 6:12 am. Alfred and Arthur were up and about the apartment getting ready for a presentation that had for a class together that morning at 8.

“No no go on,” Alfred said, holding a coffee mug of water and watching Arthur shuffle over to the pantry to get a loaf of bread.

“I said I don’t want to do this… not right now,” Arthur muttered, sighing as he picked out the heel of the loaf and stuck it in the toaster. Why did nobody in this apartment ever eat the heels but him? They all pushed past it like it was some disease ridden piece of wheat.

“What? Were you going to tell me I was wrong? That this wasn’t the  _right way_ to heat up water?“

Arthur didn’t answer him.

“Oh my god you were!” Alfred set down the mug and came up next to the Arthur. He glanced down at him. “You were honestly going to tell me that heating water in the microwave isn’t ri-“

“You’re supposed to use a kettle!” Arthur snapped. Alfred looked shocked at first and then there was that glint in his eyes and Arthur knew he was fucked because now Alfred wasn’t  _ever_ going to drop this topic. “A kettle is the proper way to heat the water Alfred. Not some… some… microwave- that’s how some mongrel would heat their water. It’s… there’s a difference. You wouldn’t understand…”

Alfred just nodded like he was finding this all like a bunch of bullshit, rolling his eyes a bit at the last comment. “Uh huh, so um… how does it feel?”

“How does what feel?” Arthur watched the toast pop and suddenly he kind of understand why nobody ate the heel.

“How does it feel being so pretentious?” Alfred asked, amused. Arthur threw the toast on his plate and glared at Alfred.

“Well how does it feel knowing you don’t even know how to boil water? How does it feel knowing you don’t even know what a kettle is?”

Alfred seemed to slip a bit on the counter he was leaning against. “What? Okay now  _wait a minute_. Just because I haven’t ever used a kettle before doesn’t mean I don’t know what it is.” Alfred followed Arthur across the kitchen as Arthur tried to focus on buttering the toast and ignoring Alfred.

“Well I just assumed you Americans didn’t know what kettles were, seeing as how  _none of you people use them_.”

“You’re seriously  _seriously_ actually upset about this,” Alfred laughed dryly, too shocked now to be amused any longer. “You think we don’t- Artie-seriously what? Americans totally use kettles! Where do you get off thinking the English are the only ones who know and own kettles like? What?”

“How come every person I’ve met doesn’t seem to own one? They ask me if I want tea or coffee and then I watch them do what you’re doing now!”

“This isn’t some crime Artie- not having a kettle. A microwave is just as good as any old kettle. It gets the water heated, and faster. I don’t really have the time to wait around for water to boil, this is just more convenient.”

“It doesn’t taste right,” Arthur responded, biting into the toast.

Alfred gaped at him. “It tastes the same!”

Arthur shook his head. “It’s like… see here. If I were to want toast, and I used the microwave instead of the toaster to toast my bread well… it’s like that!”

“It’s  _nothing like that_!” Alfred screeched a bit.

“It is  _too the same thing!_ ” Arthur responded. “Nobody toasts their bread in a microwave! It wouldn’t work!”

“That’s not even related to what we’re talking about!”

“It still wouldn’t work! You can’t get toast if you don’t toast it!”

“But-“

“It would just be warm and floppy and-“

“BUT THE WATER STILL GETS WARM IN THE MICROWAVE LIKE IT DOES IN THE TOASTER- I MEAN THE KETTLE-WHATEVER.”

“BUT IT’S WRONG AND IT’S NOT THE SAME IT’S NOT REAL HOT WATER.”

“THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS IT-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO MURDER BOTH OF YOU!” Romano said, standing in the doorway in his pajamas staring at them like has was actually murder the two of them right then and there. “It is WAY to fucking early! It’s fucking six am! Why are you arguing about toast!!!???”

“Well technically it wasn’t-“

“ _I don’t fucking care!”_

“What’s going on?” Kiku asked, standing behind Romano now, looking at Alfred and Arthur were were both red, embarrassment clear on their faces. “What happened?” Romano looked back at Kiku. “Romano if you could please also remember we have neighbors and-“

“They’re the ones fighting about some stupid agh whatever the fuck it is!” Romano growled. “If you two don’t quiet down or leave I  _will come back.”_ He turned and stormed past Kiku. “I’m going back to bed! Don’t wake me up again!”

Kiku looked very confused and watched Arthur and Alfred watch Romano leave. They both looked rather ashamed, standing side by side as if they were children being scolded. “I don’t understand what just happened but I wouldn’t doubt that Romano will come back if you do not resolve your fighting.”

Arthur and Alfred nodded, sighing a bit when Kiku turned to leave. Before they could say anything to one another Kiku came back in. “I forgot something,” he muttered to himself as he grabbed the kettle, put some water into it and put it on the stove to heat. “I wanted to fix myself some tea,” Kiku explained himself to them. He smiled and left the room again.

Arthur looked at Alfred with a big smug grin.


End file.
